tengah marah punya pasal.
geram.
'Cuti Pertama'
Assalamualaikum wbt
Alhamdulillah, 6 bulan praktikal dah pun tamat dengan jayanya Jumaat lepas. Awal pagi aku mengemas barang-barang sedia untuk bawa pulang sejurus selepas habis kerja. Kemudian aku duduk sebentar. Berpandangan dengan rakan sepraktikal aku. Masing-masing ada senyum di bibir. "Ingat lagi waktu hari pertama balik daripda kerja, kita kata baruuuuu habis satu hari". Dan hari ini 6 bulan itu bakal berakhir. To be exact, sebenarnya 6 bulan seminggu, sebab company extend seminggu memandangkan cuti Raya Cina dan Aidilfitri tak dikira.
Pagi tu aku pergi ke kerja dengan senyuman yang lebar, extra manis (eh?), sambil pasang lagu raya, just because it is the last day. Hihi. The day that have been waited for so long. Sampai-sampai je office, penuh semangat aku ucap Zao An (selamat pagi) dekat Uncle driver lori yang kerja di situ.
So at last, my semester break starts!
Cuti semester kali ini baru benar-benar rasa macam cuti. Aku cuba merajinkan diri di rumah memandangkan cuti-cuti yang dahulu memerlukan aku pulang kolej awal bagi komitmen tugasan yang telah diberi. Hujung minggu juga bukan selalu aku dapat pulang ke rumah. Kalaupun aku dapat pulang, aku guna sepenuhnya untuk rehat. Jadi kali ini, aku azam untuk manfaatkan sebaik mungkin.
Semalam, kerana craving yang sudah lama dan kerajinan yang tiba-tiba datang, maka terhasillah bubur kacang merah dan longan (and sago bits). Disebabkan Ummi kata sedap, jadi aku benar-benar yakin bubur ini menjadi dengan jayanya! Alhamdulilllah! Yeay!
Alhamdulillah, 6 bulan praktikal dah pun tamat dengan jayanya Jumaat lepas. Awal pagi aku mengemas barang-barang sedia untuk bawa pulang sejurus selepas habis kerja. Kemudian aku duduk sebentar. Berpandangan dengan rakan sepraktikal aku. Masing-masing ada senyum di bibir. "Ingat lagi waktu hari pertama balik daripda kerja, kita kata baruuuuu habis satu hari". Dan hari ini 6 bulan itu bakal berakhir. To be exact, sebenarnya 6 bulan seminggu, sebab company extend seminggu memandangkan cuti Raya Cina dan Aidilfitri tak dikira.
Pagi tu aku pergi ke kerja dengan senyuman yang lebar, extra manis (eh?), sambil pasang lagu raya, just because it is the last day. Hihi. The day that have been waited for so long. Sampai-sampai je office, penuh semangat aku ucap Zao An (selamat pagi) dekat Uncle driver lori yang kerja di situ.
So at last, my semester break starts!
Cuti semester kali ini baru benar-benar rasa macam cuti. Aku cuba merajinkan diri di rumah memandangkan cuti-cuti yang dahulu memerlukan aku pulang kolej awal bagi komitmen tugasan yang telah diberi. Hujung minggu juga bukan selalu aku dapat pulang ke rumah. Kalaupun aku dapat pulang, aku guna sepenuhnya untuk rehat. Jadi kali ini, aku azam untuk manfaatkan sebaik mungkin.
Semalam, kerana craving yang sudah lama dan kerajinan yang tiba-tiba datang, maka terhasillah bubur kacang merah dan longan (and sago bits). Disebabkan Ummi kata sedap, jadi aku benar-benar yakin bubur ini menjadi dengan jayanya! Alhamdulilllah! Yeay!
Sebenarnya aku tengah cuba sebaik mungkin bantu Ummi uruskan rumah, because I know, sepanjang kami adik-beradik tak ada kat rumah, segalanya kurang terurus kerana Ummi sibuk dan penat bekerja. To know that Ummi is soooo glad that we are at home is a joy for me and the rest of us.
Okeh! Kita tengok esok-esok kerajinan ni maintain atau tidak. Hopefully yes, hiks!
MindRant 18
Assalamualaikum wbt
Terlihat
Tunduk
Malu
I felt so far away.
Too far from reaching the target.
What strength do I have to reach the stage?
This is the same reason, of why I sometimes dislike big gathering.
This is the same reason, of why I left IRIS the other day.
Terlihat
Tunduk
Malu
I felt so far away.
Too far from reaching the target.
What strength do I have to reach the stage?
This is the same reason, of why I sometimes dislike big gathering.
This is the same reason, of why I left IRIS the other day.
Of Marriage Again: It Will Happen At The Right Time
Assalamualaikum wbt
Her,
Age: 21
Status: Just Married
Another her,
Age: 22
Status: Married, and a son
Just one more her,
Age: 22
Status: Married, and a daughter
And I,
Age: 22
Status: Single
And I was like.. "I'm just 22 by the way" *waving*
Phewww! Looking at all of the wedding invitations, and so far, JUST SO FAR, there are 10 of them, and I probably has miscounted some invitations, so it could be more than 10. Well, I may need not the travel list. If I attended all of these, I could be considered traveling almost half of this country, excluding the Borneo.
So what most newly weds do, or even if they do not, the guests will do? Posting wedding pictures in social media. The pre-wedding and the post-wedding so on so forth will be flocking the news feed, and I will be enjoying looking at those pictures, on one condition: of moderate amount please!
Scrolling through the news feed, I could see the comments made by some of their friends, or relatives, or long-lost friends who happened to be the silent reader all this while, and just start commenting on the picture because she/he could not believe that their also-long-lost-friends have got married, at such young age! Most will congratulate, and wish for their happiness, and some... "Cepatnya kahwin awak. Kita ntah bilalah lagi. Hmmm", or "Bestnya dah kahwin!".
*krik krik krik*
Yeah, the so-called insecurities of not-yet-married, not-yet-get-a-job, not-yet-graduate bla bla bla will always fall on this age of us, or for as long as you had not reach any one of those 'goals'. The worries on what the future beholds for all of us will never be an end. It would always be the scariest thing because of its uncertainty.
And I can only geleng kepala and giggle while reading those kinds of comments.
Oh dear, I do not want to say much. But I will just give you one simple advice: be patient. Fasobrun Jameel. Patience is beauty and patience is the best way of all. Allah has even promised, that there are wonderful things will be granted to those whom with patience.
Hold on dear. Everything will happen at the right time. And your time will come, soon insya Allah.
I've get used to these now. And I'm still cool with it. Hiks.
Her,
Age: 21
Status: Just Married
Another her,
Age: 22
Status: Married, and a son
Just one more her,
Age: 22
Status: Married, and a daughter
And I,
Age: 22
Status: Single
And I was like.. "I'm just 22 by the way" *waving*
Phewww! Looking at all of the wedding invitations, and so far, JUST SO FAR, there are 10 of them, and I probably has miscounted some invitations, so it could be more than 10. Well, I may need not the travel list. If I attended all of these, I could be considered traveling almost half of this country, excluding the Borneo.
So what most newly weds do, or even if they do not, the guests will do? Posting wedding pictures in social media. The pre-wedding and the post-wedding so on so forth will be flocking the news feed, and I will be enjoying looking at those pictures, on one condition: of moderate amount please!
Scrolling through the news feed, I could see the comments made by some of their friends, or relatives, or long-lost friends who happened to be the silent reader all this while, and just start commenting on the picture because she/he could not believe that their also-long-lost-friends have got married, at such young age! Most will congratulate, and wish for their happiness, and some... "Cepatnya kahwin awak. Kita ntah bilalah lagi. Hmmm", or "Bestnya dah kahwin!".
*krik krik krik*
Yeah, the so-called insecurities of not-yet-married, not-yet-get-a-job, not-yet-graduate bla bla bla will always fall on this age of us, or for as long as you had not reach any one of those 'goals'. The worries on what the future beholds for all of us will never be an end. It would always be the scariest thing because of its uncertainty.
And I can only geleng kepala and giggle while reading those kinds of comments.
Oh dear, I do not want to say much. But I will just give you one simple advice: be patient. Fasobrun Jameel. Patience is beauty and patience is the best way of all. Allah has even promised, that there are wonderful things will be granted to those whom with patience.
Hold on dear. Everything will happen at the right time. And your time will come, soon insya Allah.
I've get used to these now. And I'm still cool with it. Hiks.
Antara Pil dan Aku
Assalamualaikum wbt
Tempoh hari,
Selesai sarapan, 2 biji supplement aku readykan untuk telan. Ada air teh ready secawan, nak buat telan pil.
Sebiji aku ambil, letak dalam mulut, minum air, telan.
Beberapa saat kemudian aku muntahkan semula ubat tu. Terbatuk-batuk, lalu dipandang sahaja ubat tu. Mengeluh sendiri.
And now I remembered the ultimate reason of why I'd always rejecting pills. Mengeluh lagi.
Sebenarnya, aku baru nak bermula semula dengan habit baru ni. Sebelum ni aku berhenti daripada makan supplement vitamin C sebab terpengaruh dengan 'nasihat' kawan aku yang katanya "Sebelum makan kena consult dengan doktor dahulu, sebab kita tak tahu keperluan badan kita ni berapa, entah-entah terlebih vitamin C. Kan ada mudarat." So lepas habis sebotol, aku dah tak beli lagi. Takut punya pasal. Padahal Abi yang belikan dulu sejak sekolah menengah sebab aku selalu selsema, batuk, demam yang datang tiba-tiba, pergi pun tiba-tiba. Even dekat rumah pun adik-adik amalkan perkara yang sama. Tak ada apa pun yang mudarat setakat ni.
Umum mengetahui bahawasanya aku adalah anti-ubat pil yang sejati, terutamanya panadol. Aku siap sorok ubat bawah bantal sebab tak nak makan. Ye, scene-scene gadis sakit yang degil sorok ubat bawah bantal serta buang dalam tong sampah tu aku benar-benar buat dalam realiti. Hahaha. Kononnya nak elak long-term effect makan ubat pil (kidney residue bla bla bla), dan sebab aku memang susah nak menelan ubat pil terutamanya yang bersaiz XXL. Macam Abi.
Ini juga punca kenapa aku berhenti makan supplement VCO (Virgin Coconut Oil) yang aku pernah amalkan sekejap dulu. Lagi-lagi kalau kena telan dengan air kosong sahaja. Lagilah tak tertelan. Air aku minum, pil aku muntahkan. Kalau air manis pun belum tentu, inikan pula air kosong. Sekali lagi, ini juga macam Abi. Dan aku sememangnya sentiasa hairan dengan golongan yang mampu menelan ubat tanpa air. Tak tercekik ke?
Tapi itu dululah. Sekarang dah tak cukup sejati kerana senggugut yang sentiasa menyerang, dan ketidaktahanan menanggung bila selsema teruk menyerang, kena srot srot dalam kelas, hidung sumbat waktu tidur, kepala berat, lalu akhirnya aku akur sahaja dengan pil. So sejak itu, aku haruslah kental dan redah sahaja selepas kena ceramah dengan doktor. Sudahlah tengah sakit, lagi dimarahinya. Sabar jelah. Tapi ada waktu yang aku boleh tahan tu, aku tahanlah.
Hari ini alhamdulillah aku masih amalkan makan supplement ni despite of the first bad experience after quite a long time. Tapi, aku telan dengan kopi. Semalam aku telan dengan vico. Kelmarin aku telan dengan air teh. Hari sebelum tu, aku cuba lagi telan dengan air kosong, tapi tak berjaya. Jadi air kosong tu aku bancuhkan sedikit dengan kordial oren tanpa gula, semata-mata nak bagi ada rasa. Lama-lama aku fikir, ini semua psikologi je ni a.k.a mengada-ngada. Tetapi walau bagaimana gigihnya aku betulkan mindset aku ni, pil tu tetap tak boleh ditelan tanpa air manis bersama. Hoho.
Harapan aku untuk jangka masa panjang: aku cuma harap tak ada side effect bila consume dengan minuman manis. Lagi-lagi kopi tu. >.<
By the way, adik-adik dah mula jalankan kempem boikot kopi terhadap aku disebabkan kedegilan aku untuk kurangkan jumlah pengambilannya. Cis!
Tempoh hari,
Selesai sarapan, 2 biji supplement aku readykan untuk telan. Ada air teh ready secawan, nak buat telan pil.
Sebiji aku ambil, letak dalam mulut, minum air, telan.
Beberapa saat kemudian aku muntahkan semula ubat tu. Terbatuk-batuk, lalu dipandang sahaja ubat tu. Mengeluh sendiri.
And now I remembered the ultimate reason of why I'd always rejecting pills. Mengeluh lagi.
Sebenarnya, aku baru nak bermula semula dengan habit baru ni. Sebelum ni aku berhenti daripada makan supplement vitamin C sebab terpengaruh dengan 'nasihat' kawan aku yang katanya "Sebelum makan kena consult dengan doktor dahulu, sebab kita tak tahu keperluan badan kita ni berapa, entah-entah terlebih vitamin C. Kan ada mudarat." So lepas habis sebotol, aku dah tak beli lagi. Takut punya pasal. Padahal Abi yang belikan dulu sejak sekolah menengah sebab aku selalu selsema, batuk, demam yang datang tiba-tiba, pergi pun tiba-tiba. Even dekat rumah pun adik-adik amalkan perkara yang sama. Tak ada apa pun yang mudarat setakat ni.
Umum mengetahui bahawasanya aku adalah anti-ubat pil yang sejati, terutamanya panadol. Aku siap sorok ubat bawah bantal sebab tak nak makan. Ye, scene-scene gadis sakit yang degil sorok ubat bawah bantal serta buang dalam tong sampah tu aku benar-benar buat dalam realiti. Hahaha. Kononnya nak elak long-term effect makan ubat pil (kidney residue bla bla bla), dan sebab aku memang susah nak menelan ubat pil terutamanya yang bersaiz XXL. Macam Abi.
Ini juga punca kenapa aku berhenti makan supplement VCO (Virgin Coconut Oil) yang aku pernah amalkan sekejap dulu. Lagi-lagi kalau kena telan dengan air kosong sahaja. Lagilah tak tertelan. Air aku minum, pil aku muntahkan. Kalau air manis pun belum tentu, inikan pula air kosong. Sekali lagi, ini juga macam Abi. Dan aku sememangnya sentiasa hairan dengan golongan yang mampu menelan ubat tanpa air. Tak tercekik ke?
Tapi itu dululah. Sekarang dah tak cukup sejati kerana senggugut yang sentiasa menyerang, dan ketidaktahanan menanggung bila selsema teruk menyerang, kena srot srot dalam kelas, hidung sumbat waktu tidur, kepala berat, lalu akhirnya aku akur sahaja dengan pil. So sejak itu, aku haruslah kental dan redah sahaja selepas kena ceramah dengan doktor. Sudahlah tengah sakit, lagi dimarahinya. Sabar jelah. Tapi ada waktu yang aku boleh tahan tu, aku tahanlah.
Hari ini alhamdulillah aku masih amalkan makan supplement ni despite of the first bad experience after quite a long time. Tapi, aku telan dengan kopi. Semalam aku telan dengan vico. Kelmarin aku telan dengan air teh. Hari sebelum tu, aku cuba lagi telan dengan air kosong, tapi tak berjaya. Jadi air kosong tu aku bancuhkan sedikit dengan kordial oren tanpa gula, semata-mata nak bagi ada rasa. Lama-lama aku fikir, ini semua psikologi je ni a.k.a mengada-ngada. Tetapi walau bagaimana gigihnya aku betulkan mindset aku ni, pil tu tetap tak boleh ditelan tanpa air manis bersama. Hoho.
Harapan aku untuk jangka masa panjang: aku cuma harap tak ada side effect bila consume dengan minuman manis. Lagi-lagi kopi tu. >.<
By the way, adik-adik dah mula jalankan kempem boikot kopi terhadap aku disebabkan kedegilan aku untuk kurangkan jumlah pengambilannya. Cis!
Giving Up Fashion
Assalamualaikum wbt
Ku teliti satu per satu
Gaya begini gaya begitu
"Aihhh lecehnya!!"
Akhirnya aku pin tepi sahaja macam biasa.
Simple.
Ku teliti satu per satu
Gaya begini gaya begitu
"Aihhh lecehnya!!"
Akhirnya aku pin tepi sahaja macam biasa.
Simple.
MindRant 17
Masalahnya bukan dulu aku sengaja canang,
tetapi mahu gembira kongsi sama,
sedih luah rasa.
Sekarang bila ada yang ungkit kembali,
aku terasa seperti disindir.
Sebab dahulu beriyanya nak rak,
Syok sendiri!
Yelah. Silapnya akulah juga.
Patutnya lain kali diam-diam sahaja.
Udahler. Aku sudah mengerti.
Semuanya kini aku diam sahaja.
Ada tidak ada, masa jua yang akan khabarkan nanti.
To Not Worry
Assalamualaikum wbt
I do not know what is hidden over there ---- future.
Thinking about the days after today has always been the scariest thing.
So much hope, yet so much worry too.
Sometimes you just need to pretend that everything is OK by assumption.
As in: Today you are doing it alright, so you assume that later, everything is going to be alright too.
That way.
But hopeful can become hopeless.
So do fearful can become fearless.
As much as it suppose to take time to change from one phase to another,
It could also change in just a blink of eyes.
Unexpectedly.
In all kind of situations,
You have the tendency for everything.
To fall,
To crawl,
To walk,
To run.
Everything
Thus,
Worrying should not be one's habit.
For this world is just a transition,
A place full of unjust and cruelness.
And it should not be the biggest concern either.
No matter how, you are gonna go through it,
And most probably,
In the end,
You might not even realized that you have gotten over it.
Successfully.
I do not know what is hidden over there ---- future.
Thinking about the days after today has always been the scariest thing.
So much hope, yet so much worry too.
Sometimes you just need to pretend that everything is OK by assumption.
As in: Today you are doing it alright, so you assume that later, everything is going to be alright too.
That way.
But hopeful can become hopeless.
So do fearful can become fearless.
As much as it suppose to take time to change from one phase to another,
It could also change in just a blink of eyes.
Unexpectedly.
In all kind of situations,
You have the tendency for everything.
To fall,
To crawl,
To walk,
To run.
Everything
Thus,
Worrying should not be one's habit.
For this world is just a transition,
A place full of unjust and cruelness.
And it should not be the biggest concern either.
No matter how, you are gonna go through it,
And most probably,
In the end,
You might not even realized that you have gotten over it.
Successfully.
MindRant 16
Assalamualaikum wbt
Bulan,
Semakin kelihatan sabitnya.
Sayu sahaja rasa.
Kita semua tahu,
Ramadhan kian pergi.
Bulan,
Semakin kelihatan sabitnya.
Sayu sahaja rasa.
Kita semua tahu,
Ramadhan kian pergi.
Malu
Assalamualaikum wbt
Baru terjatuh sebab lantai licin pun kau dah rasa malu sebab kau jatuh depan orang ramai.
Padahal itu bukan salah kau pun.
Cuba kau bayangkan kau di padang mahsyar nanti.
Satu per satu amalan kau, kesalahan kau akan dipaparkan di khalayak ramai, yang ramainya sejak dari zaman nabi Adam sehinggalah kiamat.
Sudah tentu berkali-kali ganda rasa malu kau.
Tak cukup malu, rasa sesal pula tu.
Bayangkan.
Baru terjatuh sebab lantai licin pun kau dah rasa malu sebab kau jatuh depan orang ramai.
Padahal itu bukan salah kau pun.
Cuba kau bayangkan kau di padang mahsyar nanti.
Satu per satu amalan kau, kesalahan kau akan dipaparkan di khalayak ramai, yang ramainya sejak dari zaman nabi Adam sehinggalah kiamat.
Sudah tentu berkali-kali ganda rasa malu kau.
Tak cukup malu, rasa sesal pula tu.
Bayangkan.
Practicing Muslim
Assalamualaikum wbt
One day during my
internship in The Garden, I was asked by the Nepalese staff over there,
"Jie Jie, why
do you sit down when you're drinking?"
And I have quite a
hard time explaining to him because… he does not know what is sunnah, or who is
Muhammad SAW, and he doesn't even know what is prophet! How was I going to
explain??!
At last, "Ermm.
Islam teach us to do this.". Simple, but not a satisfaction definitely,
and he just said "Ohhh" and nodded.
Few days after,
while I was drinking, he called me, "Jie jie, why you no sit down?".
At that time, I
could only say, "Oh! I forgot!". But I immediately thought,
"Shame on you lah!"
Because 'yesterday'
you explained about it with enthusiasm, and 'today' you do not practice what
you've preached. You are being inconsistent. However, on the positive side of
it, it served as a reminder for me.
Carrying yourself as
a Muslim in a place where people do not understand your religion can be tough,
but that's the challenge, and that's perhaps a way for me to always remind
myself to show good vibes and examples for the non-Muslims especially.
And from that day onward, more questions were being asked. I couldn't explain with the correct
terms, but as long as he understood, that was good enough for me. And the best
thing is, he would always be asking " Jie jie, you pray already?" or when he needed to walk on a narrow area,
"Jie jie, excuse me pleaassseeee. I want to walk. Cannot touch touch
maaa".
There =)"I'm not a good Muslim, but I'm a practicing Muslim"
Confession!
Assalamualaikum wbt
Confession page.
Aku dah baca beberapa page confession dari macam-macam 'organisasi'. Kesimpulan yang aku dapat buat adalah, betapa ianya mengajar manusia untuk menjadi pengecut dan saling mengaibkan. Tidak mahu menegur berdepan tetapi mahu seantero dunia tahu si fulan dan fulanah telah begini begitu. Walaupun kedua-dua pihak tidak dinamakan, pasti ada segelintir pembaca yang dapat meneka. Andai tidak dapat meneka pun, perkara lebih buruk akan berlaku ------ andaian.
Tidak tahukah engkau tentang padahnya membuat andaian?
Bahawa andaian itu boleh membawa kepada fitnah?
And here is my confession:
I hate confession pages.
It creates the so called keyboard warrior and creates even more barrier between the mankind.
Confession page.
Aku dah baca beberapa page confession dari macam-macam 'organisasi'. Kesimpulan yang aku dapat buat adalah, betapa ianya mengajar manusia untuk menjadi pengecut dan saling mengaibkan. Tidak mahu menegur berdepan tetapi mahu seantero dunia tahu si fulan dan fulanah telah begini begitu. Walaupun kedua-dua pihak tidak dinamakan, pasti ada segelintir pembaca yang dapat meneka. Andai tidak dapat meneka pun, perkara lebih buruk akan berlaku ------ andaian.
Tidak tahukah engkau tentang padahnya membuat andaian?
Bahawa andaian itu boleh membawa kepada fitnah?
And here is my confession:
I hate confession pages.
It creates the so called keyboard warrior and creates even more barrier between the mankind.
MindRant 15
Assalamualaikum wbt
I spent the whole week browsing lots of online shops that could provide the best deal for the items that I want.
This special item.
Orders made.
Paid.
Done.
Waiting for the parcels to arrive.
And now I am left wondering,
"Sungguh betul kau ni. Memang nekad habis."
I'm suddenly in a state of disbelief.
"How did I get that courage and confidence?"
Now I just need to wait for the time to put on the pieces on my head.
Fear, doubt and worry is playing hide-and-seek.
It may look small, but big for me.
May Allah ease.
I spent the whole week browsing lots of online shops that could provide the best deal for the items that I want.
This special item.
Orders made.
Paid.
Done.
Waiting for the parcels to arrive.
And now I am left wondering,
"Sungguh betul kau ni. Memang nekad habis."
I'm suddenly in a state of disbelief.
"How did I get that courage and confidence?"
Now I just need to wait for the time to put on the pieces on my head.
Fear, doubt and worry is playing hide-and-seek.
It may look small, but big for me.
May Allah ease.
The Careless One With Too Much Plans
Assalamualaikum wbt
Guess what I've been doing for the past few hours?
Watching lace stitching tutorial on Youtube and blogs!! And I watched them with so much focus!
I must be crazy to do this, but yes I did.
Since I'm going on 22, and about to graduate for another 1 year, and realize how hard it is to earn money after going through 5 months of practical, and how much money I've spent these few months on ridiculous and careless matter ----- accidents and rents, I finally came to the sense that I need to do something to save and earn money.
When I talk about saving money, people would immediately responded with 'Saving for wedding ehhhh?'. Aaaaaaa, does saving money must necessarily be for wedding? With current economic situation in our country, young generations like me, have got to be prepared financially for the future life ahead. Life is tough people. Anything can happen, especially at the times when you are least expecting it. Like what happened when I accidentally hit on someone's car and have to pay for the cost of repairing, and also when I accidentally broken a lady's spectacles in Surau and have to pay for the repairing cost too. If you were in my situation and easily get panic, you would immediately thought 'Oh dielah how am I going to pay for this??!' *nanges* Though there's always a way to solve it. Biasalah. Gelabah. Hahah.
But Alhamdulillah, luckily, I'm in the middle of my practical. So I have my allowance money to be used for those accidents. But then, there goes my allowance money. Before I started my practical, I've already intend to use them for my own expenses, no more asking money from Ummi. At least, for 6 months. Ahaha. I remembered when I received my first 'salary', I felt so grown up, so proud, and happily told Ummi 'After this Ummi you don't have to give me monthly expenses anymore!'. Ceh! Alik-alik, after the accidents happened, I end up going back to my mother and said 'Ummi, I have to depends on you now'.
Tak apalah. Perancangan Allah tu lebih baik.
So who says money is not important? It is! Just don't make it as an ultimate priority lah.
Sooo, the reason I happened to be so eager watching videos on stitching tutorials are because of two reasons: First, my frustration towards the expensive simple dresses that are extremely famous nowadays that I decided to do it myself; Second, my plan to start a business on my own.
You know what's in my head right now? I thought of taking sewing classes, learn how to sew simple clothing like baju kurung, blouses, jubah, baju melayu and learn how to do the beading as well. I also plan to sharpen my sketching and doodling skills, and start doodling on tote bags, t-shirts and all. Oh wait, there's more. I plan to learn making cakes and desserts as well!
So with all of these, I am hoping to open up a boutique, or a cafe, or a boutique cafe, and have my own labels. Why not right? Sounds nice. Looks beautiful. Because all of these are my favourite things and my passion. Wouldn't it be perfect to have your own business based on your passion?
Too ambitious? Nehhh. Insya Allah, if I am deadly serious on this and make efforts for it, Allah will show me the way. I have some other plans in my head too but I thought, hold on ma cherie. One by one.
May all of these plans, will not JUST be plans. Biiznillah.
Yeah, that's me. The one with too much plans. The clumsy and careless one.
Guess what I've been doing for the past few hours?
Watching lace stitching tutorial on Youtube and blogs!! And I watched them with so much focus!
I must be crazy to do this, but yes I did.
Since I'm going on 22, and about to graduate for another 1 year, and realize how hard it is to earn money after going through 5 months of practical, and how much money I've spent these few months on ridiculous and careless matter ----- accidents and rents, I finally came to the sense that I need to do something to save and earn money.
When I talk about saving money, people would immediately responded with 'Saving for wedding ehhhh?'. Aaaaaaa, does saving money must necessarily be for wedding? With current economic situation in our country, young generations like me, have got to be prepared financially for the future life ahead. Life is tough people. Anything can happen, especially at the times when you are least expecting it. Like what happened when I accidentally hit on someone's car and have to pay for the cost of repairing, and also when I accidentally broken a lady's spectacles in Surau and have to pay for the repairing cost too. If you were in my situation and easily get panic, you would immediately thought 'Oh dielah how am I going to pay for this??!' *nanges* Though there's always a way to solve it. Biasalah. Gelabah. Hahah.
But Alhamdulillah, luckily, I'm in the middle of my practical. So I have my allowance money to be used for those accidents. But then, there goes my allowance money. Before I started my practical, I've already intend to use them for my own expenses, no more asking money from Ummi. At least, for 6 months. Ahaha. I remembered when I received my first 'salary', I felt so grown up, so proud, and happily told Ummi 'After this Ummi you don't have to give me monthly expenses anymore!'. Ceh! Alik-alik, after the accidents happened, I end up going back to my mother and said 'Ummi, I have to depends on you now'.
Tak apalah. Perancangan Allah tu lebih baik.
So who says money is not important? It is! Just don't make it as an ultimate priority lah.
Sooo, the reason I happened to be so eager watching videos on stitching tutorials are because of two reasons: First, my frustration towards the expensive simple dresses that are extremely famous nowadays that I decided to do it myself; Second, my plan to start a business on my own.
You know what's in my head right now? I thought of taking sewing classes, learn how to sew simple clothing like baju kurung, blouses, jubah, baju melayu and learn how to do the beading as well. I also plan to sharpen my sketching and doodling skills, and start doodling on tote bags, t-shirts and all. Oh wait, there's more. I plan to learn making cakes and desserts as well!
So with all of these, I am hoping to open up a boutique, or a cafe, or a boutique cafe, and have my own labels. Why not right? Sounds nice. Looks beautiful. Because all of these are my favourite things and my passion. Wouldn't it be perfect to have your own business based on your passion?
Too ambitious? Nehhh. Insya Allah, if I am deadly serious on this and make efforts for it, Allah will show me the way. I have some other plans in my head too but I thought, hold on ma cherie. One by one.
May all of these plans, will not JUST be plans. Biiznillah.
Yeah, that's me. The one with too much plans. The clumsy and careless one.
MindRant 14
Assalamualaikum wbt
Looking back to these 5 months of internship,
I thought the challenges and the hardships that I need to faced during the period are just too much. By saying 'too much', I don't mean 'melampau' or 'I shouldn't be facing all these hardships'. I just thought 'Why so manyyyyy and continuouslyyyyyy?'. My friend even laughed at me when I told her about all of these, 'Apa lagi kau niii tak sudah-sudah hahaaaa'.
Nevertheless, I felt grateful, for each one of the hardships that I need to face, contains lessons that Allah want me to take and bear in mind. Allah kata dia takkan bagi orang-orang yang beriman tu free free je tak ada ujian tak ada susah. Logiknya, orang yang berjaya yang diiktiraf dan disanjung semestinya sudah melalui pelbagai susah payah sebelum dia berjaya. Wajibulghunnah! Kalau tak, tak rasalah nikmat kejayaan tu.
Hardships make a man!
Looking back to these 5 months of internship,
I thought the challenges and the hardships that I need to faced during the period are just too much. By saying 'too much', I don't mean 'melampau' or 'I shouldn't be facing all these hardships'. I just thought 'Why so manyyyyy and continuouslyyyyyy?'. My friend even laughed at me when I told her about all of these, 'Apa lagi kau niii tak sudah-sudah hahaaaa'.
Nevertheless, I felt grateful, for each one of the hardships that I need to face, contains lessons that Allah want me to take and bear in mind. Allah kata dia takkan bagi orang-orang yang beriman tu free free je tak ada ujian tak ada susah. Logiknya, orang yang berjaya yang diiktiraf dan disanjung semestinya sudah melalui pelbagai susah payah sebelum dia berjaya. Wajibulghunnah! Kalau tak, tak rasalah nikmat kejayaan tu.
Hardships make a man!
Fading Flower by Yuna
Assalamualaikum wbt
"You can't tear me down
Beat me to the ground
Try to block my sunshine
My blue skies with your clouds
And who do you think you are
Yeah that won't get you far
You may think you're pretty
But you'll see that beauty
Is a fading flower"
One of my favourite song by Yuna.
Stating how beauty is not a necessity.
Imbas
Assalamualaikum wbt,
Sedang aku memandu ke Bazar Ramadhan tempoh hari, di kejauhan aku dapat lihat orang ramai berkerumun seolah-olah sedang menyaksikan sesuatu.
What a familiar scene.
Saat aku melalui orang ramai itu, kelihatan seorang pakcik tua sedang mengawal lalulintas dan turut kelihatan juga seperti sekujur badan di atas jalan, barangkali sedang menahan kesakitan.
Aku dengan segera palingkan muka. Tidak sanggup melihatnya. Kerana ingatan aku terus kembali pada kemalangan yang terjadi pada rakan seperjuangan.
Itu, saat yang paling menakutkan bagi aku.
Aku masih ingat felo menerima panggilan dan terus memaklumkan tentang kemalangan tersebut. Betapa hati kami yang sedang teruja menunggu ketibaan rakaan kami, berubah 360 darjah, berdegup deras membimbangkan keadaan mereka.
Aku masih ingat sewaktu kami menghampiri kawasan kejadian. dari jauh kelihatan orang ramai sedang berkerumun, dan kami lihat dua tubuh bertshirt program yang sedang terbaring di tepi jalan. Saat itu kami tahu, itulah mereka!
Ya, pemandangan itu, sama seperti yang di atas.
Aku masih ingat sebaik kereta diberhentikan, terus kami berlari ke tempat kejadian di seberang untuk melihat keadaan mereka berdua.
Aku masih ingat wajah mereka menanggung kesakitan yang tidak terperi sambil ditenangkan seorang lagi rakan sementara menunggu ambulans sampai.
Aku masih ingat setibanya aku di hadapan mereka, menggigil seluruh badan ini kerana tidak pernah berhadapan situasi sebegini. Dan aku pun tidak pernah menggigil sebegitu rupa. Laju air mata melimpah kerana aku tidak tahu apa perlu dibuat, panik, rasa tidak berupaya sebagai ketua dan beratnya hati melihat mereka menanggung kesakitan. Sedangkan baru sebentar sahaja sebelum itu, aku berjumpa mereka dalam keadaan ceria dan senyum keduanya.
Saat yang paling meruntun hati sehingga kami terpaksa dibawa pulang dahulu untuk bertenang.
Kini semakin sembuh keduanya walau masih perlu mengambil masa. Tiada antara kami mahu mengingati apa yang telah terjadi. Aku doakan semoga keduanya cepat sembuh dan dipermudahkan segala urusan.
Syafakallah.
Sedang aku memandu ke Bazar Ramadhan tempoh hari, di kejauhan aku dapat lihat orang ramai berkerumun seolah-olah sedang menyaksikan sesuatu.
What a familiar scene.
Saat aku melalui orang ramai itu, kelihatan seorang pakcik tua sedang mengawal lalulintas dan turut kelihatan juga seperti sekujur badan di atas jalan, barangkali sedang menahan kesakitan.
Aku dengan segera palingkan muka. Tidak sanggup melihatnya. Kerana ingatan aku terus kembali pada kemalangan yang terjadi pada rakan seperjuangan.
Itu, saat yang paling menakutkan bagi aku.
Aku masih ingat felo menerima panggilan dan terus memaklumkan tentang kemalangan tersebut. Betapa hati kami yang sedang teruja menunggu ketibaan rakaan kami, berubah 360 darjah, berdegup deras membimbangkan keadaan mereka.
Aku masih ingat sewaktu kami menghampiri kawasan kejadian. dari jauh kelihatan orang ramai sedang berkerumun, dan kami lihat dua tubuh bertshirt program yang sedang terbaring di tepi jalan. Saat itu kami tahu, itulah mereka!
Ya, pemandangan itu, sama seperti yang di atas.
Aku masih ingat sebaik kereta diberhentikan, terus kami berlari ke tempat kejadian di seberang untuk melihat keadaan mereka berdua.
Aku masih ingat wajah mereka menanggung kesakitan yang tidak terperi sambil ditenangkan seorang lagi rakan sementara menunggu ambulans sampai.
Aku masih ingat setibanya aku di hadapan mereka, menggigil seluruh badan ini kerana tidak pernah berhadapan situasi sebegini. Dan aku pun tidak pernah menggigil sebegitu rupa. Laju air mata melimpah kerana aku tidak tahu apa perlu dibuat, panik, rasa tidak berupaya sebagai ketua dan beratnya hati melihat mereka menanggung kesakitan. Sedangkan baru sebentar sahaja sebelum itu, aku berjumpa mereka dalam keadaan ceria dan senyum keduanya.
Saat yang paling meruntun hati sehingga kami terpaksa dibawa pulang dahulu untuk bertenang.
Kini semakin sembuh keduanya walau masih perlu mengambil masa. Tiada antara kami mahu mengingati apa yang telah terjadi. Aku doakan semoga keduanya cepat sembuh dan dipermudahkan segala urusan.
Syafakallah.
Coretan Cliche Buat Ummi, Buat Abi
Assalamualaikum wbt
Tiba-tiba,
Memori lalu datang menjengah,
Satu per satu.
Ingatkan Abi,
Ingatkan Ummi.
Susah payah mereka,
Tidak mereka peduli.
Susah payah aku,
Sentiasa mereka kasihani.
Tidak pernah ditinggalkan,
Walaupun berjauhan.
Mereka sentiasa ada,
Walaupun tidak bersama.
Ingin sahaja aku cerita satu per satu
Segala payah perit yang telah dilalui.
Namun untuk apa?
Orang lain pun susah sama.
Ampun,
Banyak kekecewaan yang aku berikan,
Berbanding dengan kegembiraan.
Meski engkau sentiasa terima selagi aku telah usaha,
Namun aku tetap rasa hampa.
Biarlah nanti,
Ummi Abi,
Akan aku tunaikan janji,
Selagi mana terdaya oleh diri.
Mungkin sahaja coretan ini tampak biasa
Cliche di pandangan mata yang membaca
Tetapi inilah yang aku termampu
Untuk menzahirkan rasa rindu.
Salam sejahtera Ummi Abi,
Moga Allah sentiasa rahmati.
Tiba-tiba,
Memori lalu datang menjengah,
Satu per satu.
Ingatkan Abi,
Ingatkan Ummi.
Susah payah mereka,
Tidak mereka peduli.
Susah payah aku,
Sentiasa mereka kasihani.
Tidak pernah ditinggalkan,
Walaupun berjauhan.
Mereka sentiasa ada,
Walaupun tidak bersama.
Ingin sahaja aku cerita satu per satu
Segala payah perit yang telah dilalui.
Namun untuk apa?
Orang lain pun susah sama.
Ampun,
Banyak kekecewaan yang aku berikan,
Berbanding dengan kegembiraan.
Meski engkau sentiasa terima selagi aku telah usaha,
Namun aku tetap rasa hampa.
Biarlah nanti,
Ummi Abi,
Akan aku tunaikan janji,
Selagi mana terdaya oleh diri.
Mungkin sahaja coretan ini tampak biasa
Cliche di pandangan mata yang membaca
Tetapi inilah yang aku termampu
Untuk menzahirkan rasa rindu.
Salam sejahtera Ummi Abi,
Moga Allah sentiasa rahmati.
I've Grown Up!
Assalamualaikum wbt
Yesterday, I'm a little girl.
Today, I'm a lady.
Tomorrow, I'm a woman,
And probably, someone else's wife,
With successful career and business.
Alhamdulillah, Lina has safely delivered her baby this morning. A boy. I'm so happy ya Allah i just do not know how to describe this feeling. I just can't believe how fast the time has traveled, leaving me and the rest of mankind with disbelief and lots of surprises.
Yesterday, I drive myself to the laundry shop to settle my laundry. I went to Bazar Ramadhan alone to buy food. I went to the tailor alone to alter my dress. I went to buy groceries alone. I go to work everyday, driving a car, alone. Everything, all alone. And then, at one moment, I stopped and looked at myself, of how much I've grown up and be independent.
It sucks to be adult, because as you're growing up, things get even complicated, commitments are multiplied, everything gets tougher, and the worst part of growing up is, in the end, you will realize that you are all alone and only you can push yourself to strive. But the best thing is that, you got to see your own transition from one phase to another. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Oh well, this is life.
Then again, this is only dunia. A place for us to invest on for the eternal akhirat.
The question is, how much have we prepared ourselves?
Time to muhasabah.
Yesterday, I'm a little girl.
Today, I'm a lady.
Tomorrow, I'm a woman,
And probably, someone else's wife,
With successful career and business.
Alhamdulillah, Lina has safely delivered her baby this morning. A boy. I'm so happy ya Allah i just do not know how to describe this feeling. I just can't believe how fast the time has traveled, leaving me and the rest of mankind with disbelief and lots of surprises.
Yesterday, I drive myself to the laundry shop to settle my laundry. I went to Bazar Ramadhan alone to buy food. I went to the tailor alone to alter my dress. I went to buy groceries alone. I go to work everyday, driving a car, alone. Everything, all alone. And then, at one moment, I stopped and looked at myself, of how much I've grown up and be independent.
It sucks to be adult, because as you're growing up, things get even complicated, commitments are multiplied, everything gets tougher, and the worst part of growing up is, in the end, you will realize that you are all alone and only you can push yourself to strive. But the best thing is that, you got to see your own transition from one phase to another. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Oh well, this is life.
Then again, this is only dunia. A place for us to invest on for the eternal akhirat.
The question is, how much have we prepared ourselves?
Time to muhasabah.
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