Confession!

Assalamualaikum wbt

Confession page.

Aku dah baca beberapa page confession dari macam-macam 'organisasi'. Kesimpulan yang aku dapat buat adalah, betapa ianya mengajar manusia untuk menjadi pengecut dan saling mengaibkan. Tidak mahu menegur berdepan tetapi mahu seantero dunia tahu si fulan dan fulanah telah begini begitu. Walaupun kedua-dua pihak tidak dinamakan, pasti ada segelintir pembaca yang dapat meneka. Andai tidak dapat meneka pun, perkara lebih buruk akan berlaku ------ andaian.

Tidak tahukah engkau tentang padahnya membuat andaian?
Bahawa andaian itu boleh membawa kepada fitnah?

And here is my confession:
I hate confession pages.
It creates the so called keyboard warrior and creates even more barrier between the mankind.

MindRant 15

Assalamualaikum wbt

I spent the whole week browsing lots of online shops that could provide the best deal for the items that I want.

This special item.

Orders made.
Paid.
Done.

Waiting for the parcels to arrive.

And now I am left wondering,
"Sungguh betul kau ni. Memang nekad habis."

I'm suddenly in a state of disbelief.
"How did I get that courage and confidence?"

Now I just need to wait for the time to put on the pieces on my head.
Fear, doubt and worry is playing hide-and-seek.
It may look small, but big for me.

May Allah ease.

The Careless One With Too Much Plans

Assalamualaikum wbt

Guess what I've been doing for the past few hours?

Watching lace stitching tutorial on Youtube and blogs!! And I watched them with so much focus!

I must be crazy to do this, but yes I did.

Since I'm going on 22, and about to graduate for another 1 year, and realize how hard it is to earn money after going through 5 months of practical, and how much money I've spent these few months on ridiculous and careless matter ----- accidents and rents, I finally came to the sense that I need to do something to save and earn money.

When I talk about saving money, people would immediately responded with 'Saving for wedding ehhhh?'. Aaaaaaa, does saving money must necessarily be for wedding? With current economic situation in our country, young generations like me, have got to be prepared financially for the future life ahead. Life is tough people. Anything can happen, especially at the times when you are least expecting it. Like what happened when I accidentally hit on someone's car and have to pay for the cost of repairing, and also when I accidentally broken a lady's spectacles in Surau and have to pay for the repairing cost too. If you were in my situation and easily get panic, you would immediately thought 'Oh dielah how am I going to pay for this??!' *nanges* Though there's always a way to solve it. Biasalah. Gelabah. Hahah.

But Alhamdulillah, luckily, I'm in the middle of my practical. So I have my allowance money to be used for those accidents. But then, there goes my allowance money. Before I started my practical, I've already intend to use them for my own expenses, no more asking money from Ummi. At least, for 6 months. Ahaha. I remembered when I received my first 'salary', I felt so grown up, so proud, and happily told Ummi 'After this Ummi you don't have to give me monthly expenses anymore!'. Ceh! Alik-alik, after the accidents happened, I end up going back to my mother and said 'Ummi, I have to depends on you now'.

Tak apalah. Perancangan Allah tu lebih baik.

So who says money is not important? It is! Just don't make it as an ultimate priority lah.

Sooo, the reason I happened to be so eager watching videos on stitching tutorials are because of two reasons: First, my frustration towards the expensive simple dresses that are extremely famous nowadays that I decided to do it myself; Second, my plan to start a business on my own.

You know what's in my head right now? I thought of taking sewing classes, learn how to sew simple clothing like baju kurung, blouses, jubah, baju melayu and learn how to do the beading as well. I also plan to sharpen my sketching and doodling skills, and start doodling on tote bags, t-shirts and all. Oh wait, there's more. I plan to learn making cakes and desserts as well!

So with all of these, I am hoping to open up a boutique, or a cafe, or a boutique cafe, and have my own labels. Why not right? Sounds nice. Looks beautiful. Because all of these are my favourite things and my passion. Wouldn't it be perfect to have your own business based on your passion?

Too ambitious? Nehhh. Insya Allah, if I am deadly serious on this and make efforts for it, Allah will show me the way. I have some other plans in my head too but I thought, hold on ma cherie. One by one.

May all of these plans, will not JUST be plans. Biiznillah.

Yeah, that's me. The one with too much plans. The clumsy and careless one. 

MindRant 14

Assalamualaikum wbt

Looking back to these 5 months of internship,
I thought the challenges and the hardships that I need to faced during the period are just too much. By saying 'too much', I don't mean 'melampau' or 'I shouldn't be facing all these hardships'. I just thought 'Why so manyyyyy and continuouslyyyyyy?'. My friend even laughed at me when I told her about all of these, 'Apa lagi kau niii tak sudah-sudah hahaaaa'.

Nevertheless, I felt grateful, for each one of the hardships that I need to face, contains lessons that Allah want me to take and bear in mind. Allah kata dia takkan bagi orang-orang yang beriman tu free free je tak ada ujian tak ada susah. Logiknya, orang yang berjaya yang diiktiraf dan disanjung semestinya sudah melalui pelbagai susah payah sebelum dia berjaya. Wajibulghunnah! Kalau tak, tak rasalah nikmat kejayaan tu.

Hardships make a man!

Fading Flower by Yuna

Assalamualaikum wbt

"You can't tear me down

Beat me to the ground

Try to block my sunshine

My blue skies with your clouds

And who do you think you are

Yeah that won't get you far

You may think you're pretty

But you'll see that beauty

Is a fading flower"

One of my favourite song by Yuna.

Stating how beauty is not a necessity. 

Imbas

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Sedang aku memandu ke Bazar Ramadhan tempoh hari, di kejauhan aku dapat lihat orang ramai berkerumun seolah-olah sedang menyaksikan sesuatu.

What a familiar scene.

Saat aku melalui orang ramai itu, kelihatan seorang pakcik tua sedang mengawal lalulintas dan turut kelihatan juga seperti sekujur badan di atas jalan, barangkali sedang menahan kesakitan.

Aku dengan segera palingkan muka. Tidak sanggup melihatnya. Kerana ingatan aku terus kembali pada kemalangan yang terjadi pada rakan seperjuangan.

Itu, saat yang paling menakutkan bagi aku.

Aku masih ingat felo menerima panggilan dan terus memaklumkan tentang kemalangan tersebut. Betapa hati kami yang sedang teruja menunggu ketibaan rakaan kami, berubah 360 darjah, berdegup deras membimbangkan keadaan mereka.

Aku masih ingat sewaktu kami menghampiri kawasan kejadian. dari jauh kelihatan orang ramai sedang berkerumun, dan kami lihat dua tubuh bertshirt program yang sedang terbaring di tepi jalan. Saat itu kami tahu, itulah mereka!

Ya, pemandangan itu, sama seperti yang di atas.

Aku masih ingat sebaik kereta diberhentikan, terus kami berlari ke tempat kejadian di seberang untuk melihat keadaan mereka berdua.

Aku masih ingat wajah mereka menanggung kesakitan yang tidak terperi sambil ditenangkan seorang lagi rakan sementara menunggu ambulans sampai.

Aku masih ingat setibanya aku di hadapan mereka, menggigil seluruh badan ini kerana tidak pernah berhadapan situasi sebegini. Dan aku pun tidak pernah menggigil sebegitu rupa. Laju air mata melimpah kerana aku tidak tahu apa perlu dibuat, panik, rasa tidak berupaya sebagai ketua dan beratnya hati melihat mereka menanggung kesakitan. Sedangkan baru sebentar sahaja sebelum itu, aku berjumpa mereka dalam keadaan ceria dan senyum keduanya.

Saat yang paling meruntun hati sehingga kami terpaksa dibawa pulang dahulu untuk bertenang.

Kini semakin sembuh keduanya walau masih perlu mengambil masa. Tiada antara kami mahu mengingati apa yang telah terjadi. Aku doakan semoga keduanya cepat sembuh dan dipermudahkan segala urusan.

Syafakallah.

I've Grown Up!

Assalamualaikum wbt

Yesterday, I'm a little girl.
Today, I'm a lady.
Tomorrow, I'm a woman,
And probably, someone else's wife, 
With successful career and business. 

Alhamdulillah, Lina has safely delivered her baby this morning. A boy. I'm so happy ya Allah i just do not know how to describe this feeling.  I just can't believe how fast the time has traveled, leaving me and the rest of mankind with disbelief and lots of surprises.

Yesterday, I drive myself to the laundry shop to settle my laundry. I went to Bazar Ramadhan alone to buy food. I went to the tailor alone to alter my dress. I went to buy groceries alone. I go to work everyday, driving a car, alone. Everything, all alone. And then, at one moment, I stopped and looked at myself, of how much I've grown up and be independent.

It sucks to be adult, because as you're growing up, things get even complicated, commitments are multiplied, everything gets tougher, and the worst part of growing up is, in the end, you will realize that you are all alone and only you can push yourself to strive. But the best thing is that, you got to see your own transition from one phase to another. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Oh well, this is life.
Then again, this is only dunia. A place for us to invest on for the eternal akhirat.
The question is, how much have we prepared ourselves?

Time to muhasabah.

Sebelum Melangkah Tahun Akhir

Assalamualaikum wbt

Hari terakhir sebelum cuti semester bermula esok, dan kedengaran bunyi bagasi ditarik turun tangga, serta habuk yang berterbangan kerana masing-masing memunggah bilik untuk dikemas.

Kecuali aku.

Yang berkemas untuk pindah kolej, dan hanya akan pulang lama ke rumah selepas tamatnya praktikal. Haih.

Hampir 2 minggu berpuasa di sini bersama rakan-rakan, berkejar semua hendak buka bersama, sementara mereka masih ada di sini menghabiskan peperiksaan yang dihadapi. Isnin sampai Ahad, ada saja 'temujanji'.

Zaman belajar inilah nak luangkan masa dengan mereka. Nanti kelak dah tamat belajar, masing-masing sudah berkerjaya, sambung belajar, berumahtangga dan berkeluarga, peluang untuk berkumpul itu makin sedikit. Mungkin juga, tiada langsung peluang. 

Maka waktu dan peluang yang aku ada ini, aku cuba gunakan sebaiknya. 

Terasa masa pantas benar berlalu. Sekejap sahaja, aku sudah akan masuk ke tahun keempat, tahun terakhir pengajian insya Allah. Perbualan kami bila berkumpul sekarang mesti tidak akan lari daripada topik FYP, praktikal, dan... kahwin! Hahaaaaa

Entah bila lagi kita akan berkumpul begini. Akan datang, mungkin aku pun sudah patut mula memperlahankan diri sedikit demi sedikit. Entah. Kita biar waktu berlalu memberikan jawapan. Harapan aku... semoga aku kahwin nanti semua dapat datang! Eheh? Astaghfirullah. Bukan. Harapan aku, semoga di mana jua pun kita berada nanti, persahabatan kita tetap utuh, dan di kejauhan masing-masing nanti, biarlah kita tetap sentiasa saling mendoakan. 

Ladies, Ini Untuk Kita.

Assalamualaikum wbt

Hairan aku dengan, 
The so-called muslimah fashion nowadays.

Hijabista hipster kata mereka.
Segalanya, atas nama cantik.

Pakaian,
Seluar senteng pun cantik.
Baju sendat pun cantik.
Baju pendek pun cantik. 

Tudung,
Lilitan tak kemas pun cantik.
Selendang tak bergosok pun cantik.
Tidak tutup dada, 
Tidak tutup leher,
Tak apa, tetap cantik.

Apabila,
Segalanya, atas nama agama,

Bila ditegur aurat, 
Disuruh biarkan,
Tak apalah tak sempurna,
Sekurang-kurangnya dia ada usaha tutup aurat.

Bila ditegur tabarruj,
Dikata tak apa,
Islam tak melarang umatnya berhias,
Malah Tuhan suka pada yang indah-indah.

Segalanya, ada sahaja hujah yang disediakan untuk membela diri, 
Melepaskan diri daripada rasa bersalah. 

Soalanku padamu wahai Muslimah, 
"Redha siapakah yang engkau cari?"

Maafkan aku, yang juga masih bertatih. Namun isu aurat bukanlah perkara yang harus diremeh-temeh dan bukan perkara yang harus diambil mudah. Perintah tentangnya disebut jelas di dalam Al-Quran tanpa berkias.

Kita tidak boleh menafikan bahawa manusia akan sentiasa 'Judge a book by its cover'. Terimalah, dalam penilaian seseorang, pakaian adalah persepsi pertamanya. Duta agama yang paling obvious dan paling mudah dilihat. Usah dipandang sebelah mata, kerana sesungguhnya, ia penjaga maruah dan pelindung pandangan mata yang liar.

Bukanlah aku minta engkau berjubah mahupun bertudung labuh. Cukuplah sempurnanya apabila ia mengikut syariat. Kemudian, sedikit demi sedikit, kita tambahkanlah labuhannya sebagai lambang kerendahan hati juga ketakwaan kepada Allah swt.

Percayalah, yang luaran itu, mampu untuk mendidik yang dalaman. Perlahan-lahan, tetapi jangan sampai ketinggalan. Aku juga masih berusaha.

Semoga dipermudahkan buat kita semua.

Teman ke Putrajaya

Assalamualaikum wbt

Malam di Putrajaya
Sepinggan mi goreng udang
Secawan teh ais
Sebuah bicara
Bersama yang dicinta

Cukup bahagia.

Terima kasih Tikah!