Setting Your Intention Right

Assalamualaikum wbt

Everyday I wake up, I set an intention to be a better Muslim, a better daughter, a better sister, a better employee. To treat everyone better. To love everyone more.

Everyday, I try to observe closely all the things around me and learn some values from it.

Everyday, I try to set my intention right, to give and gain the best from everyone.

But many times, I failed, and people around me only see the failure part because that is the 'product'. People don't usually see the process. They just want to see the end result. Hence, they see me as a negative person, short-tempered, impatient, easily give up, unfriendly and many more. They don't see what I've done to be a better version of myself. They don't see the tears that fall for having to bear with all the hardships along the journey.

Like a lady who worked hard to bake a cake, but it turned out to be a disaster, and people would just point to her and said, " Your cake is a disaster". 

That's just the right way to reflect the situation that I'm in right now.

Other people don't see the struggle and the pure intention that I have made. That's why it all must start with and come back to Allah, The Most Merciful. The Most Gracious. The Most Understanding. He knows all, and He will grant us all with His blessings, with the goodness that He has promised. It is enough to know that Allah witnesses all of it and I believe, surely He will reward us all for the effort that we have made. Insya Allah.

The 'Me' Time

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I love this. Alone. In a coffee shop. With a mug of hazelnut latte --- favorite companion for coffee time. Observing. Thinking. Jotting down some thoughts. That's just how I love my 'me' time.

But I know, as much as I love this 'me' time, I am absolutely do not belong to this kind of treat. I hate to say this, but I am definitely belong to the hectic life. Being busy. Being loaded with lots of chores and tasks to do. Having datelines to be followed. I have the tendency to be a workaholic but I refuse to think about it that way because the word sounds negative (to me), so perhaps I could just replace it with the word 'committed'. Yeah, that's better.

Amidst the chaotic life, I love the moment when I can finally sneak some time out for myself. That way, I learn to value my 'me' time even more. It doesn't need luxurious stuff to fill the treat and make me feel good. Sometimes a book and a cup of coffee, and some free time to write is enough to retreat myself.

Everybody has their own way of retreating themselves with 'me time'. It doesn't necessarily need to be on your own. Some people might love to have their best friend accompanying and do what they love to do together. Some people might use it to make self reflection, go to religious classes or talk, do volunteering work, and many more.

Whatever it is, how a person spend the 'me' time does not really matter as long as it does not go against what is prohibited. What matter most is that from each 'me' session, there is a sense of satisfaction to fulfill one's desire of escaping themselves from the daily routine or any problems. We need this. We all need this. With the hope that, every 'me' time can provide us all with a much relieved heart and mind, and of course, a booster to start the routine or to face any problem all over again.

That Little Hope For the World

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I'm always touched by little gestures shown by other people.

Like a Chinese who politely said 'tumpang tanya' when he wanted to ask for directions.
Like a Nigerian Muslim who passed by, greeted me with smile and Assalamualaikum.
And the lady above (third from left), who is not yet a Muslim, but approached us and tell us that she loves the Muslims wearing hijab because they look beautiful, and asked us to wear the hijab on her, right at that moment.

There. Amidst the chaos and extreme terrorism, I believe we still have hope for this little world. Insya Allah.

Past

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Oh Allah, I still remember the day that I was extremely heartbroken.
I remember that it happened in Ramadhan.

I remember one night, as I was sitting in masjid, waiting for Tarawih prayer, memories started to come, and I, being the weakest person at that moment, could no longer hold my tears from falling.

Right at that time, Ummi patted my back, gently.
She was trying to comfort me.

She didn't even asked.
Not even a word.

It was as if she understood it all.
But of course, she did.
The pain, The sadness, The anger.

And my tears kept on falling.
Tears of relief. Tears of love.
Knowing that I have my mother to give me support.
And above all, I have Allah swt,
Who know all the good things meant for me, the slave.

Few years have passed.
I'm hoping for something good this time.
Something worth the pain and the tears.
May Allah ease. Insya Allah.

Definisi Cinta

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Cinta, perkataan ini sahaja boleh buat sesiapa sahaja tersenyum dan tersipu. Betapa hebat kuasa cinta ini, sampai ke tahap dia bisa mengubah seseorang baik katanya, rupanya, mahupun tindakannya.

Dulu, bila sembang tentang ini, memang bukan main lagi dibuai-buai perasaannya. Mengelamun. Berangan. Pada setiap lagu-lagu cinta itu, tersimpan berjuta makna pada bait-bait lirik yang diungkap. Semuanya kalau boleh mahu dikait dengan perasaan sediri yang sedang bermain dalam hati.

Tetapi kian dewasa, kian membesar, cinta menjadi perkara yang semakin rumit untuk difikirkan. Kerana visi cinta kita kini telah menjadi lebih besar, lebih realistik, lebih jelas, dan lebih bermakna. Ada matlamat murni yang ingin dicapai untuk manfaat bersama. Bukan lagi samata-mata untuk kepuasan diri atau dilihat sebagai suatu bentuk "keperluan".

Visi ini, jika terlaksana, maka suburlah kasih sayang dalam diri setiap insan. Dengan kasih sayang ini, menjadi motivasi untuk sentiasa berusaha mencapai keharmonian dalam masyarakat, menjadi motivasi untuk mengajak lebih ramai kepada kebaikan, menjadi motivasi untuk diri sendiri terus melakukan kebaikan, yang akhirnya, akan membawa kepada pembinaan ummah yang kuat, kukuh, kental, harmoni, sejahtera dan segalanya yang baik, demi memakmurkan agama Islam pada setiap aspek.

Di puncak cinta ini, tentunya,
adalah untuk membolehkan kita semua sama-sama beroleh tempat di syurga Allah.
Jom, ubah visi cinta kita.

Insya Allah.

The Pioneer is Graduating Soon!

Assalamualaikum wbt

I'm so scared to put the title as above, because, you know, anything could happen before all of us graduates officially, but I pray really hard, hopefully God will ease us all and let everything run smoothly until convocation day!

So yes, as the title goes, I need not have to say much, we are walking towards it insya Allah.

Walking, because the official result and graduating status will only out in July or mid August. So, we are not running that's for sure. Lol.

Pheww. 4 years together!

Throughout the 4 years, we've seen the best part and the worst too, from everyone. And I mean it. EVERYONE. There's only 31 of us after Emy left, and it's so easy to get attached with each other and create a good bond. A close one of course. We've also created quite a good bond with the lecturers because our department is small too among the lecturers! Hehe.

I do not know how to put everything in my mind into words properly. Seriously, it's so hard. I can only shed tears when I recall the memories one by one. Probably because I have just too may things to be said that all of them could only make me remain speechless. Before I decided to post this, I've so many ideas on what I want to talk about and what I want to say, but once I placed my fingers on the keyboard, everything in my mind just vanished.

I've made a video for the class. Weeks before that, I have tons of ideas in my head on what to be given, and what the outcome of the video will turn out. I've even drafted all of them in paper. In my vision, it's going to be so detail, so memorable, so touching and superbbbb, but yeah, we can only plan. I realised that I don't really have much time to do all of those things that I've planned. I've even decided to postpone the making of the video, but because I really wanted to leave them with something to be remembered, hence, the video.

Tadaaaa. Seadanya sahaja, but Alhamdulillahhhhh!

Oh dear, I am definitely going to miss you guys so much! Langkawi, Melaka, those tours and field trips we went, kitchen and events, assignments, laughs, tears, stress, pressure and many moreeeee! Gaahhhhhh. I wanted to list everything but that's just impossible.

4 years, what a long journey. Never thought that we could make it till the end, but Alhamdulillah, we made it! We are graduating soon guysssss!

Thank you everyone, thank you lecturers, thank you coursemates, until we meet again.

Amiinnn insya Allah.

Mixed Feeling

Assalamualaikum wbt

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. All praise to Allah swt. The last paper has finally ended and I've got my thesis hardbound!

These few weeks have been quite an upside down, emotionally. I may be smiling and laughing, but deep down inside my heart, there's a mixed feelings. I'm all excited to finish my study, but at the same time, I'm sad, scared. It's hard to believe that it's ending. It feels so surreal! Somebody must pinch me hard and tell me that this is all happening.

And, it is.

The news feed has been filled with posts on graduating, finishing their last paper, submitting their hardbound thesis, and others related. I wanted to update too to express my feeling of accomplishment, gratitude, and such, but I have too many things to be said. If I can, I really want to go to each and everyone who have been there with me, just for me to say thank you.

I know the ultimate source of strength is from Allah swt. I know I wouldn't be able to be where I am right now without His guidance and His blessings. But, those people that have been with me are also a great source of strength and support sent by Allah swt.

Masya Allah, I have just too much to be said but I just couldn't express it all. For all the prayers, thoughtful words, supports, advice, laughs and tears, I can only pray that Allah swt will grant each and everyone of you with His love, His mercy, and His blessings.

Perempuan & Emosi

Assalamualaikum wbt

Emosi
Kelemahan aku
Maka adakalanya aku lebih gemar berdiam

Tapi banyak masa aku gagal
Sebab emosi lebih besar daripada sabar
Dan aku masih
Gagal untuk kawal

Dan itu antara kegagalan terbesar aku
Penyesalan tak berkesudahan
Tetapi masih tetap berulang

Sedih

MindRant 23

Assalamualaikum wbt

Coffee Syndrome

Assalamualaikum wbt

Scene 1:
Tengok kat rak nak ambil kopi
Baru perasan kopi dah habis
Lupa nak beli!

Restless

Whatsapp group Oojengster

Aku: "Sape ada kopi kat bilik? Nak satu boleh tak. Tak ingat nak beli tadi T.T"
Tikah: "Milo je ada" (worries)
Pipah: "Kesian nini. Sory pah takda kopi" (adui takde sorang pun ke ada)
Roi: "Anis ada. Old town." (Yeay!)
Aku: "Anis adaaaaa. Anisssss"
Roi: "Nini ko ni dah ketagih ni"

*nangissssss*


Scene 2:
On the way balik kolej.

Ummi: "Tadi kurma ke kerepek-kerepek yang Abi suruh bawak ada ambil tak?"
Aku: "Tak. Lupa nak ambil tadi."
Ummi: "Kopinya bawak tak?"
Aku: "Bawak. hehehe"
Ummi: -_________________-


I know when they see coffee, they will remember me. Muehehe