I wish I could go back to the past
To the moment where I sat beside my mom in the mosque
While waiting for Tarawih
With fallen tears and broken heart
To pat her back and say,
Have faith,
Be strong,
Something good and worth the pain
Is just ahead of you.
I'm the kind that always fight
For what i know i deserve to
Maybe this time
I'm in the wrong battle field.
Throughout my life,
I am lacking of example
Of a good man to look up to
From the nearest one I can reach.
Years by years,
Cheated,
And as more truth reveals,
What I earn is just disappointments.
Heartbroken.
It had come to a point where
I felt that I was totally alone
Dying to let out what has been kept long
Inside my heart and mind
Then one day came along
A knight who returned from a war
To entertain my hidden side
Of silliness, laughters,
And emotional rants
Where there I put hopes
For a promising happiness
For a better future
For a better me
But it trembles, too
And I begin to question myself
Was I too bad for everything?
Then I came to realise,
That hope
Is not supposed to be put on anyone.
It supposed to be put on myself
On what i want to achieve
On what i desired to be.
Work on it,
Build it
Complete it.
Hoping on others but you,
Is just the start of continuous disappointments.