The Beauty of Istikharah

Assalamualaikum wbt

Alhamdulillah, everything has finally ended! So much relieve! Subhanallah, indeed, when we do istikharah, and be patient, Allah will show us the way, and the feeling after doing istikharah is so amazing and beautiful! It's because we have surrender everything to Allah and we let Him decide what's best for us.

For these few days, I kept wondering why Allah gave me this test that had really distracted me. Today, I found out why. Be patient, ask for Allah's help and believe in Him, and He will guide you. He will give you the positive vibes and confidence for you to decide on what's best for your current situation or dilemma.

I have always love this beautiful verse in the Quran:
"He gives wisdom to whom He wills, and whoever has been given wisdom has certainly been given much good. And none will remember except those of understanding." [Surah Al Baqarah, verse 269]

May Allah continue to guide us and shower all of us with His blessings. Amiinn...

Uzlah

Assalamualaikum wbt

Let's escape the problem for a while and calm yourself down.
Ayuhlah asingkan diri dan beruzlah.
Mari bawa diri dekat dengan Allah.
Barangkali kegelisahan dan keserabutan ini berpunca daripada kelalaian kita dan dosa-dosa kita. 

Fear

Assalamualaikum wbt

In dilemma, and confused.
Fear has conquered all I guess,
And that fear has refrain me from making the right decision.

I was so afraid that the same thing would happen again.
Because it did not happened once, or twice or thrice,
It had happened more than that.

Pergi dengan tiba-tiba,
Datang juga dengan tiba-tiba.
Bila mahu pergi, kau pergi.
Bila mahu kembali, kau kembali.

Dah serupa tunggul aku ni dibuat.
Bagai tiada nilai dan tiada perasaan.
Hatta patung pun nak tuannya jaga dia dengan baik, inikan pula manusia.
Aku manusia ke patung ni?

Orang yang ada akal takkan sengaja nak jatuhkan diri dalam gaung yang dia pernah terjatuh.
Bukanlah aku orang bijak pandai untuk membuat andaian sebegitu rupa,
Tetapi kalau ia terjadi lagi, sejujurnya, memang akulah orang paling bodoh sekali.

MindRant 9

Assalamualaikum wbt

It's coming baaaaaccckkkkk!! And it has come baaaaaaccckkkk!!!
Why oh why should this be happening?
No I'm not questioning why Allah arranged it this way.
I am just curious.

Is this supposed to make me feel glad, or worry?
Is this a gift given in a form of an answered prayer,
or this is a test, to see whether my faith will be shaken?

Allah,
help me and protect me from being distracted.
I'm scared.

"You lahir kat Pakistan?!"

Assalamualaikum wbt


Growing up, I always see myself as someone ordinary. You know, nothing so special to talk about. Not a person whom people can be so eager to know about. Because, well, I am not that friendly person who can easily mingle with anybody that I met (before you know me well). I am not all good with strangers. Sorry!

So for that reason, I always hate meeting new people and hate the ice-breaking session too.

But on the other side, I must say that I am always excited when it comes to the time for me to introduce myself. You may ask me why. I'll tell you now, hehe. It will always start somewhat like this:

"Assalamualaikum wbt, nama saya Zinneerah bt Mohd Mazlan. Asal..... tak pasti nak sebut dari mana, sebab saya lahir di Pakistan dan sekarang tinggal di Klang."

So once I've told them about this, I'll started to get those weird faces and I should always expect the question:

" Macamane boleh lahir kat sana?!"

followed by

"Nombor tengah IC you berapa? Mesti lain gila kan!"

HAHAHAHAH!

Usually, I'll just said, "it's a long story", because it was so complicated for me to understand too. I only tell them what I really know. Not that I've never asked, but I don't know why, I will tend to forget about them later. Basically, that's the tool that I have to get myself into the conversation and make it interesting. At least, I have something to talk about when people ask me more after the ice-breaking session.  

As I was writing this down, I thought that, "Hey! You do have something special about yourself!". Haaaaa kan?! Not to brag or proud so much, but just something for you to feel a bit different from others la, because everyone have their own uniqueness. It's the matter of whether they realize it or not, and whether they make use of it or not.

Ego

Assalamualaikum wbt

Air mata.
Bertakung penuh tapi ditahan supaya tak limpah.
Betapa besarnya ego kau wahai manusia hanya kerana tidak mahu dilihat lemah.

Leave The Past

Assalamualaikum wbt

Let's forget the past shall we?
But not as a whole.
Save a little memory,
For us to learn the lesson.

Let's hope for something new.
And wait and see.
For everything in the future,
Are filled with surprises.

Menaiki Tangga Ke-21

Assalamualaikum wbt

Sikit masa lagi, tanggal 25 Ogos.

21 tahun yang lalu, di Hayat Abad, Peshawar, Pakistan, ummi berjuang dan bertarung dengan maut untuk melahirkan anak sulungnya ini. Dan hari ini, sikit masa sahaja lagi aku bakal menginjak 21. Nampak macam angka yang  besar, tetapi kecil sahaja sebenarnya. Andainya diizinkan, perjalanan aku masih jauh lagi.

Untuk tempoh selama itu, ada banyak impian yang telah dipasang. Ada yang sudah berjaya aku gapai, dan masih banyak lagi yang sedang diusahakan. Namun matlamat utama tetaplah syurga di akhirat nanti. Layakkah dan dapatkah aku menjadi penghuninya? Penghujung dunia ini akan berikan jawapannya. Moga Allah permudahkan segala urusan aku dunia dan akhirat.

Semoga ini dapat menjadi titik permulaan semula aku dan dunia, demi akhirat.

Sentap

Assalamualaikum wbt

3 pagi buta.

Ada soalan yang diajukan pada aku beberapa jam lalu.
Membuat aku berfikir panjang dan kembali melihat diri ini.

Aku tak rasa soalan 'saje-saje' tu Allah 'saje-saje' aturkan untuk diajukan padaku pagi buta begini.
Aku kira itu teguran Allah padaku dalam diam.
Fuhhh! Halus sekali caranya.

MindRant 8

Assalamualaikum wbt


Mungkin aku perlu buang semua kemarahan dalam diri ini dan berhenti menipu diri sendiri. Barulah semuanya boleh bermula sekali lagi.

Mungkin.